they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
