like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
