hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
