There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
