i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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