well most of my day revolves around power hour
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
