just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
third nipple confirmed
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
