Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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