We're facebook friends in real life
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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