She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We are two peas in an std pod
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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