This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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