well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
