I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
