Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
