I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm bleeding and have questions
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
