I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
