i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
