i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
