Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
