btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize