Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I believe in your delicious
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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