you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
