My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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