You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
