but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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