...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
