i think my mom watched the whole time
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
