Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
