i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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