Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
