i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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