dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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