Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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