Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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