It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize