she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I know her cup size but not her name....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
