before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
