Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
