I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
