You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's blow job season.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
