I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
