do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
