I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
