There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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