let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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