You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
