I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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