If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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