brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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