In the future we'll all be gay
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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