im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Alive.
So much puke
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
