She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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