Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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