yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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