Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
