i'm signing you up for texting rehab
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize