ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Everything about him screamed your future.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
