there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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