just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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