i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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