This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
