Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize